A Warmer Heart

For the past two months my mom, sister and I, have been volunteering three mornings a week at a Babies Home. I felt it was about time to share some experiences I've had there, and the feelings I've felt while serving. 

The first day we went to the babies home I was completely traumatized! Babies were crying EVERYWHERE, children were running around like wild dogs, staff were racing back and forth, the floors cold cement, the halls dark and narrow, making it feel more like a prison than an orphanage. I remember pausing as I was carrying babies from one room to another and thinking, "This isn't a family, this is a factory." It was awful. 

Now I've adjusted to the rough handling of children - grabbing newborns by one arm and tossing them into bed, submerging (aka drowning) the children at bath time into cold water, sharing the same spoon to feed six babies, and ignoring the innocent faces that cry...but worst of all, making the two year old put themselves to bed, and you're forbidden to even hold their hand while walking - even if they stumble. 
Let me repeat that I have adjusted, not adopted the system. I don't think two year olds need to be completely independent, I think changing diapers and bathing kids can be a very enjoyable experience for both staff and babies - when you slow the process down a notch, and you most certainly can take an extra three seconds to grab BOTH arms instead of just one. 

Each time we leave my Mom, sister and I must debrief the whole car-ride home. Somdays we are a little scarred from things we've witnessed, but others go as smooth as silk. Although I have great fun playing with all the cuties, I always end up asking "Why me?"   When I see these kids, without ANYTHING to call their own - parents, beds, clothes, food, even their own flipping spoon, I become sick to my stomach. Here am I, complaining about this or that, when these babies honestly have nothing. What about them? Whose looking out for them? Whose defending them, loving them? Whose giving them their best shot at life? Whose cheering them on every step they take? Nobody. They have nobody. And it honestly breaks my heart. 

One girl in particular has touched my heart, Miriam. She is truly a little teddy bear, could snuggle you all day and be perfectly content. All she wants is to be held. She cries out for love. You'll be changing her and she'll take her little fingers and traces your face, or when you pick her up she clings to you like a monkey. She doesn't ask for anything, she'd sit for hours without a peep, but when you do pick her up, she never wants to be put down. 
When she's woken up in the morning, she's often still in quite a deep sleep, but it's so cute when she rubs her little puffy eyes with her tiny hands. I think I'm the only one who pities her simply because I hate the mornings myself. 
This girl was abandoned just a couple months ago - she's almost a year. I can't even imagine the situation her parent was in to have abandoned such a sweet spirit. There is nothing not to love about this little girl. She truly is the sweetest baby I've ever met. 

There's also a girl named Robina, who they believe has HIV and Sickle Cell - still undergoing tests. When she first arrived, she looked like she was about to die. Seriously. She didn't move, had zero expression on her face, never made eye contact, when she got hurt she could hardly even cry. We later found out she was two, when I had guessed she was MAYBE 9 months...
Now Robina is doing okay, though she still refuses to make eye - contact. But she responds well when you call her name, or play with her. Though she is not nearly as advanced as the other children - can't even stand on her own, there is now hope for her, when I seriously thought there was none. 

Another little boy, Michael, has come close to my heart. This little boy has a very tragic past. A new arrival at the home, already two years of age. His back is marked with scar after scar from intensive abuse, and a stitched up cut on his chin, from what some suspect was a sign of child sacrifice. TWO YEARS of his life was spent living in fear and agony. He also has Sickle Cell, which has prevented him growth, so although he is two years old, he has just learned how to walk, and can only play for a short period of time before getting tired. This little boy has touched my heart, he honestly is such a character, and a crazy good baseball player - his throw is so powerful and accurate. It breaks my heart that there's no one there to tuck him in at night, or to pick him up when he falls down. 

Okay just one more! There's this tiny little newborn, Crystal, the sweetest googly eyed girl you have ever laid eyes upon - her sad face, melts your heart and makes you laugh. I don't know her background story, but either way she has HIV. What's sad is some of the volunteers refuse to change her diaper because they fear they'll become infected. The staff diffidently have favorites, and unforunately Crystal is not one of them. She's what I would call an invisible child. It's really really really sad because they feed the babies so fast without burping them, and in Crystals case - being so small and fragile, she ends up throwing it all up, because her little stomach just can't handle it. Whenever we feed we go extra slow to make sure she keeps it all down. 
What's sad about her is how small she is, and already she is alone. Whenever we go, we like to take some extra time to just snuggle the babies, because the staff are so busy washing floors and preparing lunch, they sometimes have no time for the newborns. 

I love what I'm doing here. It adds value to my life and helps me get a better grip on the true purpose of life. I wasn't blessed with literally everything just to enjoy life, I was blessed with everything to give something. And if all I can do right now is offer some time and love to these children, than so be it. 

I love Uganda, I love serving. I simply love life. I love feeling like I've improved the lives of others, I love cuddling babies, and I love everything I have! 

Cheers
Savannah